Return to sanity?

Tuesday was my first day back to work after 2 months of maternity leave. In England you get 9 months paid maternity leave. Here in the US, you get 6 weeks (if you're lucky) and 8 weeks if you had a c-section. I remember before Trent was born and I was contemplating my 6 weeks of leave. I thought I'd go crazy in the 6 weeks of not working, and perhaps be bored. I couldn't have been more wrong. People tried to tell me. But you can't quite grasp the intensity of having a new baby until it is upon you. During my 8 weeks off I barely checked in with my team and I barely checked e-mail. I mostly deleted the ones I knew wouldn't pertain to me, and ignored the rest that did pertain to me, but I have more important things to do.

A typical day was spent feeding Trent, burping him to make sure he didn't get painful gas later in the day, changing diapers, cuddling him, rocking him, trying to figure out why he's crying. Let me tell you, 8 weeks of that day in and day out will leave you actually looking forward to going back to work so you can have a break. I've been pushed to my absolute limit on patience, I've cried, I've thrown my hands up and said "I'm out!" and walked away leaving Brian to deal with him, I've sat up at 5am feeling guilty because I can't figure out why he's upset and lost my tempter with him, and now, after 8 weeks of being with him constantly, I miss the little bugger.

Trent went to daycare for the first time on Tuesday. We arrived around 9:45 and got him settled in with his teachers: Ms. Ashely, Ms. Carrye, and Ms. Michelle. You can tell they just adore him already. When I put Trent down next to Ms. Michelle, he busted out a massive smile and the girls practically fell over themselves to get the camera out! After we got him settled in, we left the daycare, and no, I did not cry. I guess people do, but I was actually relieved. I have absolute confidence in his team of teachers and I welcome the break. Brian and I had lunch together at Par's Deli that day, then headed to daycare to check on our little man. He had just started fussing when we got there so I rocked him to sleep and put him down in his crib. Then we stood and stared at him for 5 minutes while he slept, then we headed back to the office.

Getting back into the swing of things at work is a bit of a challenge. My head isn't where it needs to be, yet. Likely due to lack of sleep and the nagging feeling that all of this is unimportant in the grand scheme of things. Though what IS important is keeping the lifestyle that we have, so I must get my head back in the game. While I was gone my team got cut by 2 (contractors), leaving now only 3 people (including me) to do the work of 6. My remaining team mates did an amazing job of managing all our deliverables, though I know they didn't have an easy time of it. I chose the wrong time to leave (or the right time depending on who you ask). But now that's all behind us and we're focusing on our new deliverables.

At 5:15 Brian and I headed off to pick up our little man from daycare. When we got there he was passed out on Ms. Ashley's lap face down and looked so cute! I really missed him. They reported that he had a pretty good day, didn't cry much, napped really well, and smiled a lot. It sounds like he had a great day.