Childbirth class 2

This week's class was much less gory than last week. We talked a lot about drug options and asked a ton of questions. The video this week was of a woman giving birth who had an epidural. It was much more pleasant, and the videographer spent less time on the full frontal crowning shot, which I appreciated. I was actually able to watch the whole thing without closing my eyes. The woman in the video looked a lot more relaxed. She was a race cyclist and was in very good shape when she got pregnant, so her endurance was probably pretty high, and throughout her pregnancy, she continued to work out as normal.
I saw a lot of similarities between this woman's pregnancy and my own and that instilled me with a bit more confidence that I can do this. It reinforced that my working out is going to help me during labour and recovery. I need that kind of positive reinforcement right now because working out is hard when you don't have much energy and you hurt all the time. It's all I can do to drag my tired arse to the gym anymore.
We got many of our questions about epidurals answered, including how many people have been paralyzed from the epidural at this hospital. The answer is zero. Which is comforting. There is a slight risk, but I do think the benefits outweigh those risks.
Next week we're going to see a cesarian section delivery. I made the mistake of watching one on the web a month or so ago and I just can't imagine having that done.
As we get closer and closer to delivery, I am getting more and more freaked out about all this. I know I'm being a huge pussy, and I know I can do this, and it's not like I have much choice anyway, but nothing anyone says is going to make me feel better until it's over and I can look back on it.
And on top of my fears of delivery, another issue has surfaced: despite me wanting to get this prgnancy over with, and my body back, I'm not ready to be a mum yet!

I'm trying to remain positive. Truly I am.