Dallas TX - You remind me of why I live in Austin

So this past weekend I made the trek up to Dallas for a wedding. 2000 was the last time I visited, and for good reason. I observed on my drive up there that as my proximity to Dallas increased, so did the arseholes on the road. There's a point, right between Waxahacie and Dallas where the courteous driver becomes the minority on the road and the SUV driving, bumper hugging, lane changing jerk who speeds up so you can't pass becomes the majority. It makes me very nervous driving around discourteous drivers and I swear I could have crushed diamonds with my buttox by the time I got to my destination, especially driving that tiny Honda. Why are people so dang angry in Dallas? Discourteous driving isn't the only off-putting thing about Dallas. When I checked into my hotel the guy at the front desk never cracked a smile, even though I was pleasant and smiling, and even joked with him. And later on in the evening I almost had to throw down with someone trying to steal a parking spot that I clearly had identified as being mine with my turn signal, proximity to said space, and the fact that I arrived there first.

Anyway, the reason for my visit, as I said, was a wedding. My friend Johnnie, who I've been friends with for about 14 years now, finally got married. This was the first time for me to meet his wife, Candace, and since my departure from Dallas, Johnnie has a whole new set of friends. I loved Candace and I made sure to let Johnnie know that he was marrying up. I made a couple of new friends at the wedding. The wedding took place in a dojo and the ceremony was fun and brief, as all good weddings should be.

After the wedding I took off for part 2 of my trip to Dallas. As luck would have it, my favourite Austin musicians were playing in Dallas that night at the Glass Cactus, and Michelle was there. Traffic getting to the Glass Cactus was ridiculous and it was here that the parking garage throw down almost ocurred. I must admit, though, I felt pretty cool when I got to the front of the club and told the hostess I was on the guest list, and she waved me through the velvet rope ahead of a line that was forming, and informed me that my party was waiting at the VIP booth on the far side of the dance floor :-)

Fortune smiled on me once again as one of the band members and his wife were not using their hotel room that the club had reserved for them and paid for, so I was able to take it and not have to worry about driving back to my hotel. That's when my good friend Tequila showed up. You know Tequila. He gets around, is the life and soul of every party, and man did Tequila party with us. We met up with our Dallas friend whom I'd met before at Cedar Street and she introduced us to her friends. What a fun bunch! we danced the night away and behaved completely inappropriately -- this tends to happen when you mix a bunch of girls with booze and good music. After the gig the party moved to the hotel and we partied well into the not so wee hours of Sunday morning. Further details surrounding this evening shall be omitted and locked in the vault to protect the guilty. I realized early Sunday afternoon that Tequila, despite being the life and soul of the party, is nobody's friend. In fact, Tequila will bite you on the arse, and kick you in the groin when you least expect it. Damn you Tequila.