Broken

It's so silly how your mind and your emotions catalog a date and on it's anniversary all the memories of that day come flooding back. It's like I have some weird chronological marker in my psyche that makes me, on the anniversary of a traumatic event, relive it. This week marks a year since Ember's passing. I can't even count how many times I've relived the events leading up to his final trip to the vet. I'd give anything to have had one more day, hour, minute with him. Every time I drive down Anderson Mill (which is almost daily), I relive the drive to the vet, Ember in my lap, me sobbing all over him, and Em was being so brave, even though he was in such pain. I remember the song on the radio. Broken, by Seether. I've never been able to hear that song without crying since then. This Friday is one year since that drive. Thankfully, I'll be completely distracted because we'll be traveling.

"Broken"

I wanted you to know I love the way you laugh
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away
I keep your photograph and I know it serves me well
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don't feel like I am strong enough
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away

You've gone away, you don't feel me here, anymore

The worst is over now and we can breathe again
I wanna hold you high, you steal my pain away
There’s so much left to learn, and no one left to fight
I wanna hold you high and steal your pain

'Cause I'm broken when I'm open
And I don’t feel like I am strong enough
‘Cause I’m broken when I’m lonesome
And I don’t feel right when you’re gone away

'Cause I'm broken when I'm lonesome
And I don't feel right when you're gone away

You've gone away
You don't feel me here anymore